A father separated from his son: how do you maintain the link?

A father separated from his son: how do you maintain the link?

"I've been separated for almost 2 years from my wife, who is leaving the canton to settle more than 90 minutes away with our 4-year-old son. In order to maintain a 'normal' relationship with him as a father, I've taken time off every Wednesday afternoon to share time and leisure activities. Does my wife have the right to deprive her son of spending time with his dad?

Laurent, Moutier

If you are living apart after going before a marital property judge to settle the terms of your separation, custody of your child has apparently been awarded to your wife. On the other hand, if you are married but de facto separated, you should be aware that both parents formally retain parental authority and custody rights for as long as they are not involved in proceedings. This means that the child's personal relationship with the parent with whom he or she is not living must be settled by mutual agreement.

In the first case, article 273 of the Civil Code (CC) stipulates that the father or mother who does not have parental authority or custody has the right to maintain such personal relations with the minor child as are appropriate in the circumstances. In practice, this is often referred to as "visiting rights", but personal relations also include telephone contacts and correspondence. In addition, under art. 274 CC, the father and mother must take care not to disrupt the child's relationship with the other parent. Even if you cannot object to the move, the Federal Court has ruled that a mother who, by moving with the children, intentionally creates a great distance between herself and the father and thereby prevents relations with him and the children is in breach of this legal provision, which you can complain to the guardianship authority about if you are unable to reason with your wife.

If you find yourself in the second situation, you should refer the matter to the judge responsible for measures to protect the marriage under art. 176 CC, asking him or her to order the measures necessary to safeguard your child's well-being in the context of organising separate living arrangements, for example by claiming custody if you can afford it.